2,000 Police Officers will Guard The Andelmans as Their Festival of Gluttony and Greed Transforms Government Center

Two thousand Boston Police officers will guard Dan and Dave Andelman, as TV38 receives more death threats against the brothers, in advance of their annual mass-brainwashing of Boston's working class.

The Andelman Reich are scheduled to arrive at Gov. Center Wednesday for a 120-hour visit, causing disruption to thousands of tourists and equally clueless commuters, as dozens of MBTA trains will be delayed and streets closed.

Non-union workers will arrive in Boston tomorrow to begin banging nails, as they construct the stage on which the pompous pageant will take place.

Thousands of members from the group Phantom Has Lost All Believability (PHLAB) will attempt to block the Andelman motorcade. The egomaniac brothers are said to be arriving in a Subaru Tribeca Limousine, rented from Boch Automotive.

BPD Deputy Asst Commissioner Shamus O'McGillicuddy summed up this week's flamboyant display of self importance, saying: "Those a**holes come into town, f*ck sh*t up then they go back to playing TV. But, they throw me a few hundred Dunk's Gift cards to keep me happy."

One insider said: "The cost to taxpayers will be hefty." But I'm guessing the Herald won't do any "sleeping on the job" style exposés.