Thursday, February 28, 2008

Phantom . . . bigot?

MAN! this "Breaking News" thing on is getting a little out of hand.

OK, first let's address the obvious. Dave Andelman looks hideous without makeup. It was always pretty apparent that the Andelmans sport more makeup than a Clinique counter girl at Nieman Marcus. What wasn't known was Dave Andelmans true identity.

It's amazing how makeup can hide those extra chins.

Michael, on the other hand, just looks like a 10-year-old Jewish kid, all throwing gang signs trying to hang on the streets of Bed-Stuy. (What is that gang sign? I don't think it even is one).

The Obvious #2: This picture is of unsatisfactory quality. Who's their webmaster over there? I know TV38 is a step above local access, but come on. The flash is all washing them out, glaring off the reflective trim on those ridiculous track suits. And Red eye? Who's took this picture, their mom? did Mrs. Andelman buy them those jogging outfits for Chanukah?

So, until now I haven't mentioned probably the most obvious aspect of this picture. The blatant and unequivocal racism. They're pretending to be black, right? Is that the idea? How could they post this on their homepage? Talk about forming opinions based on stereotypes. AND it's Black History Month to boot. I'm calling for a boycott of all things Phantom.

I went down to Kinkos and ran up a couple hundred of these bad boys. I'm gonna hit up Blue Hill Ave. with my staple gun later today. I'll probably put Dan's address somewhere on there too.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Their webmaster is a 7th grader from Newton who is halfway through an elective class simply called "Computers".

What was before html?
Is that what they're using on the PG website?

Jesus Christ, I'm surprised that they don't just list the binary code for all the content.


February 28, 2008 at 6:51 PM  
Anonymous Not the Fat Andelman said...

Notice how all of their hats are meticulously in a certain, unique direction. There was definitely a conversation involved to ensure there was no redundancy...

Dave: Hey guys. I'll be "backwards hat black guy"

Michael: Ok, I guess I'll be "regular hat black guy"

Dandelman: Ok, I guess that makes me "Fetal Alcohol Syndrome black guy".

February 28, 2008 at 10:40 PM  

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